Happy Monday folks! How’s your head today? I am hoping you don’t have a case of the Mondays.
If you have a case of the Mondays or not, it’s a great day to renew your mind bit.
I mentioned in the first podcast, how I spent so much time living in the ‘hurt’ instead of being present.
My definition of the hurt: I created my own self-image, which wasn’t healthy. Focusing on my negatives and weaknesses, rather than living in my strengths.
I come from Love, baby! I have wonderful loving parents, who love me still. I am blessed to have an amazing step father and step mother to boot. God was very good in setting my parents up with there forever partner, after their divorce. Divorce is sad and it has consequences, however there can be beautiful restoration if you are open to it. All 4 of my parents have taught me so much, and built amazing traits into my character. They have loved me hard, always there for me when I reach out.
As a kid, I made the mistake of holding things in. I knew at a young age, I was different than any boy I had ever met. I had a softer demeanor than they did. We shared our curiosity and adventurous spirits, but there was a toughness about some of the other boys I did not have. This made me feel shame. No one told me to be ashamed. I didn’t realize until decades later, that my view of myself was ‘not enough’ from a young age. This was my own doing. Coming from the home life I had there was nothing, I mean zippo – that influenced this identity within me. I didn’t know what was up with me. I couldn’t have talked to my parents or sister about it, because I didn’t know what to say.
My older sister, Amy and me, had the best of times in our first house on Songo street. I remember her and I plotting to annoy our mom and it worked! hahaha When the three of us chat about those times now, it brings back so much fun! I remember the house well and I how I felt in there. I was safe.
I was safe and sensitive. I was sensitive but I definitely loved girls. Although shy, I was a flirt. I wanted to be something I wasn’t, a hard ass. I was influenced by the neighborhood bully and his little sidekick brother. These dudes came around and started throwing around language that I had never heard before. These guys were bad assess and they were taking names. I was terrified and in awe. How can I be like that? Well, when you are raised to LOVE others, that’s where you operate from. That was me.
As I grew older, I eventually had to fight to defend myself from bully’s. I would throw a few quick punches, feeling terrible about what I am doing, then go into defensive mode and protect myself. I wanted to get it over with. There were a few times I agreed to go toe to toe with a kid, and as soon as I caused him to bleed I was done. I was out, I couldn’t stand that I was hurting someone.
I have a fighting spirit, but love drives this fight. When my fighting spirit comes from anger/hate I harm myself more than others.
I am glad those days are over! haha. No more fist-fighting for me. The only way that is going to happen is if there is an immediate threat to me or my flock. Then look out. That fighting spirit from love is gonna bite ya back hard.
Most of my discontentment came from not ‘being enough’. When you tell yourself this lie long enough, it becomes your identity. It did for me anyway. Discontentment breeds fear and fear leads to control. You hold on too tightly and things break, mainly you are breaking and probably hurting those around you.
The only thing we have control over is how we respond to things.
My problem goes back to this principle quoted here. I’m responsible for my life. It is my response, which is important. When faced with a few tragedies, my response was not healthy. I blamed myself for the tragedies. This just added confirmation that I was bad and not good enough.
I don’t do this anymore. That is behind me. I am in a good place mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I am experiencing peace, genuine peace for the first time. The rush is gone, it’s now calm, intentional steps. What a relief.
How can we renew our mind?
There is good news. The Bible, ya know the best selling book of all time, is filled with all kinds of Life Giving Principles. If you never decide to believe in God, I believe you can appreciate the principles and probably apply most of them in your life. He designed us, in His image.
If you’re ready for a mind renewal, I invite you to read one chapter of a book, in the library of the Bible. Romans chapter 12 provides a wealth of information to help you through the process. It’s a great place to start, whether you believe or not.
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
We are all God’s children. He has good and perfect plans for each of us. He wants to transform us, by renewing our minds, living to honor and obey him. The word ‘Obedience’ gives most people the heeby geebies. No one likes or wants to be told to OBEY. Our initial reaction is to flee and rebel. Why do you think there is so much rebellion against God. Obedience get’s thrown around like wranglers rope. It snags people and they are kicking and flailing, to get out of the grip.
This isn’t the obedience God intends for us. He doesn’t want us miserable and wondering aimlessly. No, He Loves us. He created us for his pleasure. He wants us to be close to him. He knows what is best for us. He wants our obedience because He loves us and we become obedient out of this love. We start living this way and things begin to change. If we love our god and others (even our enemies), we can’t help but change for the better.
He gave us His son Jesus, so we can have this new life he promised. This may be hard to understand. I pray this place will help you and me work through this together.
This a place to move the ball forward. If I say something here that hurts people, I am missing the mission. I am here to lift up, not tear down. He is lifting me up out of the sludge and He can do the same for you.
Love you all.